Welcome back. You belong here.

God shapes me during times of illness. I guess he does that in all of our lives. Think of Job during his on going losses, think of Martha during her brother’s death, of Peter’s mother in law, and the little girl’s parents to whom Jesus said, “she is but only sleeping.” That was tough to hear.

I don’t like it when my wife is sick, or our children are sick or anyone I love is sick, it scares me. Yet I know this is one of those two or three things in my life that God uses to grow me into His child.

The others are:
1. Illness
2. Things I don’t know how to do
3. Unresolved situations

All these things cause anxiety in me, stress and a feeling of overall lack of control. I don’t like to not know how to do something, or feeling unloved or feeling like I’m not good enough. I don’t like having to compensate for this attitude by being more than I am. It leads to burn out and resentment even bitterness which leaves me vulnerable to making stupid decisions.

How I respond:
1. So I pray and I keep working at it, and I trust God and I get nervous and
2. I write about it and I pray again.
3. And I work, and engage life and do what I can to keep going and
4. I take breaks and play music and sing to God.

When life throws me into those moments of weakness, I usually retreat and run, that’s how I cope. But instead, I am learning to be the hero my wife needs me to be, the knight in shining armor, her rescuer and helper.

So today, instead of sleeping all day while she’s not feeling well, I will engage, help her out, and do some work. This is what’s best for me and for her.

Have a great day.

Into the future,

davidT