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Well, I have at least a mild concussion, dizziness, blurry vision, headaches and I’m dealing with what’s called post-concussion syndrome, basically anxiety over the head injury itself. I’ve read about this online and it’s not serious, but Thursday I’m finally having my regular doctor check me out maybe do an x-ray or CAT scan, not sure. It’s been 5 weeks since the injury and at first I didn’t feel much but the last few weeks it’s bothered me more. I’ve been to the chiropractor for my neck pain which resulted from the injury and he said these injuries take 2-3 months to fully heal. They’re worse than breaking a bone.
I’ve had a hard time concentrating and focusing and my sharpeness with things like remembering verses has come and gone. It was a good wack to my head for sure. A 6ft antique lamp with the hard glass cover fell on my head at a music store and hit me pretty hard. Freak accident.
I’m taking a few days off this week to rest as I haven’t stopped since the injury. Finally, I will stay home and take care of myself. I think I’m fine, no surgery needed or long term effects, I used to forget verses before this happened too! But it bothers me and it messes with my mind and brings me anxiety at night, sleeplesness, waking up suddenly. But I’m getting better. I’m trying to work out as much as possible, running 3-4x and lifting about 2-3x a week, but it’s been slow due to this injury, sometimes I feel too jittery to lift heavy weights over my head. I have followed my eating plan pretty closely.
I spoke to my mom in Nicaragua last night and I was telling her how with grieving abuelita, Christmas, tons of family and this injury, I’ve felt pretty stressed and tired. But I’ve had wonderful moments also, such as talking to her. I cried, just telling her how much I miss her. I’ve been reading verses such as “be anxious for nothing…”, “cease striving and know that I am God…”, “don’t worry about tomorrow…” and “rejoice in the Lord always…” That has been very helpful.
And God is near. Though I feel knocked off the horse on my way to Damascus per say and somewhat blind for three days, I know he is near and Jesus is the One I serve. I have been reminded that He is the One who strengthens me, not my body or fitness, not my skills, abilities or ministry experience, it is He who sustains me and He who can take it all away.
One day the scales will come off and God will be glorified in this. It has certainly caused me to pause and reflect on how much I need Him. This injury is a hot button for me which reminds me how I can worship the idol of anxiety to get through being out of control. But this time, although I have my weak moments, I am committing myself to community, to talking things through with my pastor’s small group, to my wife and children, and to worshipping the true and Livign God, my King and Savior, not the idol of anxiety and fear.
I’m also learning to rejoice at all times. Right now little David is playing with ‘Muck’ and ‘Scoop’ from Bob the Builder, our two daughters are playing Barbies with a friend and yesterday I sang at a beautiful wedding, in a beautiful hall for one of the young worship leaders I’ve mentored. I enjoyed being alone with my wife and at night I spoke to my mom. It was a great Saturday.
“The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear, whom shall I fear?” Psalm 27:1
Have a great day.
Into the future,