I see many young pastors wanting it to be all about them. I used to be of such lot. Oh, youth is truly wasted on the young. Even if we get them in teams, set up staff meetings and the like, the young leader must come to a place of valuing the strength of the pack. But often, the leader wants to be noticed. I’ve been there, wanting others to value me, to tell me I’m needed and valuable to the team. Much of that is okay, and part of the learning curve, but eventually this can become divisive. I’ve seen it.

A better place to be is to value the strength of the pack. And this is not easy, because not everyone wants this and not all senior staff know how to create such an environment. Pride, power, control all are issues that must be dealt with by each individual.

Nonetheless, if the young leader wants to be a lone star, he will not truly give in to the pack. Now, some young leaders are meant to be ‘stars’, they have special gifts. What I mean by ‘star’ is someone who’s call and gifting is meant for greatness.

I am meant for greatness.

We have to make room for superstars in our churches. The star must learn to depend on his teammates, to value everyone around them, to understand that it is better to do things in relationship than alone.

UPDATE: Not convinced? Too much turmoil, pain, staff differences, resentment, unresolved conflict, hurtful words, wrong fit? I hear you, been there.

Let me ask you then:
1. What do you with your pain? When life hits you between the eyes, what do you do?
2. What do you do to get through the lonely times of leadership?
3. If you’re not allowing God and the Church to help you through, what are you using to cope? We all have something to help us ‘get through.’ Does it honor God?
4. Who speaks hope, love, fire into you? Who fans into flame the gift of God that is in you? Who is ‘laying hands’ upon you these days (in the good sense of the term)?

You may say, my wife, my children, my friends outside the church. What about your staff, your lead pastor, your community, your elder board and deacons. If faith and community do not intersect your stuff, we’re in the wrong business. And for the stars among us, we live life in this space of loneliness, passion, vision, isolation and lack of relationship. We need each other.

So, I have changed my ways. NO MORE. It’s about being both a star but doing it in community and this for the sake of the vision and most of all, for the sake of friendship and companionship. Of ‘amistad’, ‘compañerismo’ and ‘hermandad’ (Spanish terms I wish I could translate and do the terms justice, but you get the gist of it).

I have no problem being and artist, conquering the world, drawing people to a vision, doing the work. But I’m done being alone on the inside, thinking I’m better, faster, quicker. And I’m done using that as an excuse to distance myself, to remain alone. No more.

Last week was an example of this. We got a bounce house (no one’s birthday), invited two staff, their wives and children for no apparent reason but to be in relationship. Between my wife and I and all of our children we had 8 adults and 6 children, 14 people total, plus about 5-6 neighbor kids who just stopped by and wanted to bounce around. Why such a mess? Remember I’m an artist, alone is my noise. Why? For the sake of having friends, of relationship and community.

You say, I have that, good for you David. Great. Now do something with those people and call your people to a vision that will change their lives.

As the saying goes, “The wolf needs the pack and the pack needs the wolf.” We all need each other.

The NBA is not the symbol of humility, but there are some good examples out there – see Dwayne Wade. Shaq shares the sky with his lesser stars.

“Bryant wanted to upstage Shaq and wound up undermining the Lakers. He wanted to call the shots and wound up shooting his own legacy. Bryant wanted to be the team, not a teammate.”