Some of you may be ‘done’ with my whole grieving thing. I’m sorry. This is my life right now. I will get through this, I did with my dad, but right now this is where I’m at.

What can I tell you about this? I cry often, then I’m fine. Today while I swept the floor I kept saying to her (oh yes, I talk to her a lot, different than with my dad), “why did you leave me? why did you leave me?” Doing the dishes and the floors all remind me of her, it’s stuff she did.

What else? I keep her room light on. It soothes me. I miss her smell in the bathroom, I miss her TV and laugther, I miss seeing her in her room. This stuff is just raw. I’m fine. It just hits me hard. Do I smile? Do I remember her gladly? Am I thankful for all the great memories I have of her? Am I looking forward to seeing her in Heaven? Does that help? Some, but not always. Eventually, it will get better. Things will get easier. I know that.