In this Episode: Yesterday we had family council with our three teens. I wanted to talk to them about how to stay focused on what they want out of life. Here is what I told them:
Welcome back. You belong here.
WELCOME to Week #1 of the Living on GOZO Street Worksheet and The ACL Experience®. The purpose of this exercise, is to help you experience JOY in life or what we like to call Living a Life of #GOZO! or Living on #GOZO! Street (btw, GOZO means JOY!)
In this 1st of 3 videos, I go over the first element to live a life of JOY
#1 Re-discovering your God-given ADVENTURE. Watch for videos #2 and #3 later this week.
Do you remember the adventures you used to go on when you were a little kid? Maybe it was an adventure in college or as an adult. We all have experienced moments of pure excitement, of joy, of faith and adventure.
But then life comes and takes them away.
The other day I had the privilege to coach Karen, a new client who is struggling with her current job. She is highly skilled, experienced professional, but she feels stuck in a dead end job. She’s applying at other jobs, but because of her mild depression and frequent migraines, she’s struggling to keep up.
Note: What does a picture of pineapples have to do with adventure? Keep reading!
As we talked, I noticed there were certain values that she felt were currently missing in her life. They were, ADVENTURE and FRESHNESS. She told me she’s a person who needs two things: Stability and Adventure, and right now she feels very stable but is lacking in adventure.
I hope her story can help you if you’re seeking to live a life of Adventure and Freshness. Perhaps you’re coming out of a difficult season, at work, as a stay at home mom, as a single again person, and you’re ready to get in touch with your sense of adventure once again.
Her questions were:
1. What should I do to regain my strength?
2. I feel tired all day long, feeling sick, migraines. What can I do?
3. How do I know if the next job is the right one for me?
4. This is part of my cycle, every 2-3 years I get done with my job. How do I do this well?
5. How do I regain my sense of adventure and freshness in my life?
In my coaching, I try to apply my advice to the person’s unique situation. Although there are spiritual and life skills that are foundational to us all, each person’s situation is very unique.
But perhaps the guidance that I gave to Karen can help you if perhaps you’re in a similar situation or know someone who is.
So here are my Five Steps to Living a Life of Adventure.
1. Ups. First thing I recommended to her is to list out the successes in her life as far back as she can remember. These can be financial victories, times of pure joy working out or climbing the corporate ladder. It can be times with a friend over coffee where she felt connected.
In talking to Karen, I could tell GIVING to others is a very important value. So in writing out the successes of her life, I’m trying to have her connect with her values, giving, adventure, freshness and to realize those things are still there today.
2. Downs. I had Karen write out her failures or regrets of the last few years. Now, don’t get me wrong, nobody likes to think about failures and most of us don’t see life as a regret. But my point wasn’t to make her feel bad, but to get in touch with times of growth through pain.
Often, what my clients need is to face those difficulties to wake them up, to acknowledge they can’t repeat the same mistakes, or keep the same rhythms and expect different results (didn’t Einstein say something about that?)
3. Values. After having her write down the Ups and Downs, I had her make a list of her top 5 values. Values are the things that life helps us clarify, again, especially our mistakes. When we fall and we get back up, we realize what’s important to us, family, wealth, time, vacation, rest, fun.
Our values change over time, but they also remain constant because they’re often attached to emotional events during our childhood or youth, our successes and failures. That’s whey they’re so important to us! For Karen, the two values she came up with were:
ADVENTURE AND FRESHNESS.
4. People. I then had Karen think through the people who give her life, who give her that sense of adventure and freshness. She told me she has a good friend that “awakens” her. That is pretty awesome! We all need one of those friends. Btw, do YOU have a friend that awakens you? It could be your husband, a mentor, a life coach or counselor. For Karen, I could tell she draws energy from people, so thinking of people was huge for her.
5. Goals. This one was tough at first but we eventually got somewhere. Here’s what happened. I recommended to Karen to come up with ONE GOAL based on her ups, downs, values and people. In other words, what will you do as a result of your values that will help you life a life of adventure and freshness?
At first she struggled to come up with a goal so I went with a visual cue. I mentioned the idea of doing something RADICAL and FUN to get her going. I said, maybe go to Fresh N Easy or your favorite produce store and pick out a FRUIT that signifies the LIFE of ADVENTURE and FRESHNESS you want to have. Maybe a pineapple! Maybe your goal is to own and manage a hotel in Cabo San Lucas, where everyone is drinking pina coladas and the waiters are wearing pineapple shaped hats! FUNNY!
Now, that’s pretty ridiculous!
Who goes to the store and buys a pineapple and envision waiters in orange and brown pointy pineapple hats? But that was the point. Sometimes when we’re stuck in a rut, which is where Karen was at when she saw me, we have to try something OUT OF THE BOX. The idea is to use our right brain to awaken emotions, feelings, dreams and desires and to put the left logical, argumentative side of our brains on hold just for a minute.
But it wasn’t working for Karen.
So what did I do? I changed metaphors. I said, how about traveling to your favorite destination. What is your ideal country? Forget the pineapple idea, what country gives you a sense of ADVENTURE and FRESHNESS? She mentioned Italy. I said awesome! Think of Italy and imagine your life in Italy for 2 weeks, what would you do? What would you eat?
And as you imagine those things, write down why that’s important to you and make it into a goal. Ex – I want to live in Italy by the time I’m 25. OR Ex – I want to open an Italian restaurant in LA, or Ex – I want to drive an Italian car! The point was to connect her GOAL to a PASSION.
Why did I do all this?
Because when I first asked her for a goal guess what she said? To get a new job. My guess is Karen will have no trouble finding a new job, but she is probably going to end up in the same type of dead end job unless she thinks through her values and makes a goal from those values. Now, is she really going to own an Italian restaurant or drive a Ferrari? Sure! But maybe not.
The point is that this GOAL is her filter for any future decisions. I told her, “Karen, I don’t want you deciding on a new job, unless it fits the FILTER of your LIFE OF ADVENTURE IN ITALY!!” She nodded her head, she got it. That was awesome!
So what happened next?
At the end of our 40minute session, Karen was pumped and ready to go, but first she needed a nap! I asked her if the session was helpful and how she was feeling and she said yes and awesome! She asked if she could meet with me again next week and give me her results, and I said YES! Looking forward to it…
In summary, the Five Steps to Living a Life of Adventure are:
1. Write down your Ups
2. Write down your Downs
3. Think of your Values
4. Choose a few People
5. Describe your Goals
Does that help?
Is that something you can adapt to your situation?
As we start this awesome month of April are you looking to transition into a new job, a new relationship, a new city, or a new business opportunity?
Thanks for reading, don’t forget to comment, like, subscribe and join our mailing list. Let me know in the COMMENTS below how these steps fit into your life and let me know if this helps.
I really hope you too can life a LIFE OF ADVENTURE no matter where you are. I believe in you and would love to hear from you! Please subscribe to my blog, join my mailing list to get the latest news and most of all check out my blog and comment below.
My name is Trig and I’m here to help you find JOY in every day life.
#GO! #GOZO! #VidaGOZO #GOZOLife
See you next time!