[BLOG POST] Five Things You Can do When Grieving this Fall

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Welcome back. You belong here.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been weepy for no apparent reason, I think it’s because everything is changing (again).

In a few weeks, our oldest daughter, the love of our lives, our first born, our lovely Canela is leaving to go away to college.

No, she’s not leaving the country, she’s not leaving the state, heck, she’s not even leaving the area, she’s going to school 30 minutes away from home and yet it’s hitting me hard.

And it’s not just her, it’s all our teens that are leaving in one way or another.

Our middle one is turning 16 in a few days and soon will be driving, our 14 year old son grew about a foot seemingly over night and even though they may all be home for a while, everything is changing. 

Our marriage is also changing, my wife and I are entering this thing called an empty nest and we don’t know what that means. Our church is also changing, things are beginning to take off and that’s a loss in a weird kind of way.

Now you might be thinking, that’s nothing, wait till they come home and sleep on your couch into their 40’s! You might be a young person wondering what I’m talking about, regardless, we’re all grieving something this Fall and that’s what this post is about.

I’m an INFJ, that means I lead with my feelings (Fe) and my intuitive side (Ni), in other words, I have one big box, living in the future versus the present, looking at what’s ahead so change and loss is very real to me, you may be the same way.

If you’re more of an in the moment type of person, this may help you better understand a friend, a partner or child.

If you are grieving in some way, here are some things to help you through:

#1 Validate. The best thing you can do is to validate your feelings. There’s nothing worst than to ignore what you’re really feeling inside. Take time to write down, blog or simply admit to yourself and to God that you are experiencing loss.

#2 There’s not much you can do. Most of us want to do something about our grief, to stop it, fix it, make it go away but really there’s nothing you can do about it except to go through it. Take the pressure off, give yourself time, it’ll get better.

#3 Bring God into it. God is in our grief, he’s not deaf to your feelings, in fact, Jesus himself lost everything, his friends, his family, his life. Talk to God about it, go in the backyard and tell God how you feel, he is there for you.

#4 Share your grief with others. Everyone is grieving something these days, whether it’s family, health, finances or what’s happening in politics (you might be grieving the color of the new carpet at church), everyone is grieving something at all times.

#5 Keep Moving. When grieving, it’s easy for me to become a hermit, to not go out, not talk, give up on my workout plan, over share. Some of that is okay, but make sure you keep moving through your grief. Go on a run, go back to your Zumba class, get to work early and leave late, go about your business as normal as possible. Make sure to also avoid people who don’t get you.

Remember, grieving is something our culture does poorly but we must still grieve. Grieving is as much a part of life as the birth of baby or the wedding of your best friend.

In fact, the Bible says that attending a funeral is better than attending a wedding, because we face our eternity. Ec 7:2 says, “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart.”

So next time you feel weepy about your daughter going away to college (or pre-school), make sure you take pictures, cry, laugh and then go home and watch the video of their 1st birthday when they had cake all over their face.

It will do you a whole lot of good.

Thanks for being here!
Your #GOZO! friend,
davidTrig


Who is David Trigueros (Trig)?

I have been married 22 years to my beautiful wife Rachelle. We have three amazing teens, one is a top model and successful entrepreneur. I’m a pastor, speaker and content creator. In 2013, I recorded my own CD of original songs, then in 2014 I wrote an e-Book called “How to live an Anxiety Free Summer” and an article called “High Anxiety” for Leadership Online.

But it has not always been easy…

I grew up far from home, dealt with fear and anxiety, went through a terrible war, was unemployed for nearly a year and have felt fearful and insecure.

But through grace, counseling and the love of my wife, I have achieved everything I want in life. Now I’m here to help you achieve GOZO (JOY) and succeed in life!

So In 2010 I started my own media company called #GOZOtv! with thousands of views online. l love my job and now I get to do what I was created for, now I feel like I’m living on GOZO street! (GOZO btw, means JOY!)

Subscribe to my podcast at lifeofgozo.com/podcast. Follow me on Instagram @davidtrig, Snapchat @davidtrig and Facebook at davidtrigtv

Your #GOZO! friend,
davidTrig
Psalm 30:6 – GOZO means JOY!

READY FOR MORE?

Anxious about the Fall? Come to my workshop: No More Anxiety, Saturday, Sept. 23rd, 10am in Long Beach, CA. To learn more, please visit —> lifeofgozo.com/nomoreanxiety.

Thank you for being here,
Your #GOZO! friend,

davidTrig
Psalm 30:6 – GOZO means JOY!

Subscribe to my podcast at lifeofgozo.com/podcast. Follow me on Instagram @davidtrig, Snapchat @davidtrig and Facebook at davidtriglive

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