I love being a father and it’s not even Father’s Day, it’s the greatest privilege a man can ever have.
Loving my wife of almost 20 years and being in the lives of our two girls and our boy fills me with the kind of love one can hardly understand.
Today, our 15 year old is taking driving lessons with an instructor. She’ll be gone for two hours and I feel over-protective wondering if this instructor is really who he says he is. I don’t care how many years experience he has or how many great reviews he’s received, that’s my little girl you’ve got in there sir!
Our other girl is feeling sad, she’s been dealing with body aches and a bit of a fever, and although she’s 13 and has more fans on Instagram than I have tools in my garage, I feel very concerned for my little girl.
Of course they drive me nuts.
With their messy room, incessant talk of boys and addiction to the Gilmore Girls on Netflix, who can blame me. But my love for them is too deep for words, a gentle reminder of the process of letting go.
Every day I let go a bit more and it makes me sad.
Every day I realize they were never mine to begin with and I feel weird inside.
And with each passing day and year I wonder, where is this all headed and can someone please press stop. But every time I do that I stop and wonder where my life would be if my grandma would have kept me from growing up.
What if every time I took the bus with my friend Hugo to Dodger Stadium she would have said no.
What if every time I got into the church van to go to Maywood to play basketball my grandma would have said no. What if everytime I got sick or cried because I missed my mom, she would have kicked me out of the house and told me to be a man.
I never would have learned to be who I am today.
The love of a father, no one can explain and it’s not even close to Father’s Day. But for now, as I sit here and pray for my girls to be okay, I hope this love will never end.
Have a great rest of the day.
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