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The other day a friend of mine said I was retiring. I guess I am, I am retiring from church as I’ve known it. I didn’t say I’m retiring from God, in fact, I will forever love the ways of God and people not connected to God, but I’m retiring from my previous role.
Maybe I’m like a character in a play. He is no longer Character #1, he’s now Character #2, but really it goes beyond that. I’m not another character in the same play, or am I? Is the play the work of God or is it life? Is the play a job, a company or church, or is that just a portion of the play?
Either way, change is here. I am changing. Does a doctor change? Does she become a different kind of doctor? Paging Dr. Ross. Or are doctors always the same? Police officers? Nurses? Teachers?
We’re all changing. A mother changes, a coach changes, children are certainly changing. Politicians? Yeah, they change too often! Change is inevitable (Who moved my Cheese?).
It’s all a mystery to me, after all, how do you retire? Traditionally when people retire, it means they no longer do what they used to do. So in a way, I am retiring, I no longer want to do what I’ve been doing.
But never say never right? I have a passion for people, for music, for the things of the spirit, I always have and I always will. My uniqueness is being in relationship with people not in traditional church, that’s always been my uptake.
I’m retiring, but I’m not sure what from and what into. I’m moving on, I’m changing hats, there is no doubt change has happened. I no longer imagine myself doing what I’ve been doing for the past 10 years.
But how much change is there really? I still like rice better than pasta, I still sleep on the right side of the bed not the left and I still don’t like jazz. A lot of me remains the same, in fact, some would say I’m becoming stubborn in “my old age”.
But whatever you call this, retiring, moving on, changing, evolving, pause and reset, something is happening. A season and chapter in my life (a long chapter) has ended, and a new one in starting.
(Btw, I’ve never really liked “chapter” analogies, I don’t relate well to books and chapters. I like more the idea of evolution or metamorphosis, like a butterfly. Just don’t call me one!)
Will I fail at this new chapter of my life? Maybe. Will I want to return to my previous role? I might be tempted to, but I doubt it.