How Do You Speak of the Past?

Welcome back. You belong here.

I’ve been blogging through the process of leaving the traditional church to start an organic, simple, neighborhood faith community called Neighbors Abbey. See more here and here.

I have a friend, who I’ve actually never spoken to who is here in Denver, that went through her own process of going from big to small, upward to downward. Her process (it’s been 7+ years, mine 3 months) has been inspiring. Read more on her here and while  you’re at it (all 5 of you who read this blog), buy her book, it should be awesome.

I’ve been unsure of how to write what may seem negative stuff about what I’ve been through in traditional, contemporary churches for almost 20 years. Why?

First, because I’m a nice person. Not that my friend isn’t, but I’m sometimes too nice on the outside, while I brew on the inside. I don’t always have the guts to tell it like it is. My wife is good at that. Btw, I don’t believe that to be like Jesus, you have to be silent, in fact, the opposite is often true.

Second, I’m not perfect. The process of being in the contemporary church has been hard, but I’ve made mistakes too, so I’m not always sure how to navigate that.

Third, what will others think? A friend recently posted with regards to the whole Harold Camping Judgement Day (not), that perhaps our fixation with hell and judgement is a Sunday school left over. I feel like God, or my family or friends will disown me if I say what I think.

Lastly, it might be too soon. As I said earlier, it’s only been 3 months, we have yet to go public with our new adventure, this Neighbors Abbey, maybe I feel like I need to be successful before I talk about my past. Silly.

So, no, I’m not going to write about this quite yet, I’m not ready, not in this public way at least. I have written of it in private, in my notepad, in the private cloud. I have even sent it to a few closed friends. I have no idea how they felt about it, but even that, was not the full story, this process will take a lifetime.

Some people ask my friend, “why don’t you move on? why keep talking about the bad things and being so angry?” Her answer is right on (read it here). She says that the best answer to that question is the “practice of the better”.  I think she’s right on.

Even though we have yet to go public with Neighbors Abbey (right now it’s just my family and I), we have started the practice of the better. And right now, that’s the best place for me to be.

In time, I will write about the ups and down of the contemporary church and the path that led my family and I here. I know that like with my friend, when I do, it will help a lot of people.


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