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In counseling one of the things we talk about is “What is true” and opening myself up to God, letting him into my junk. The problem is that each time my life coach says that I ask myself, “which God are you talking about?” The nice, good God I’m supposed to believe in or the mean God who left me when I was a young boy.
To me, there are two Gods, the Good God, and the Real God who left me, disappointed me and did not provide me with the guidance I needed when I was 12 years old. Which God do I turn to? Everyone tells me, “the Good God”, “God is Good!”. The issue is that the Good God is not always good. In fact, I hardly talk to that God because of the baggage we have.
So who is the Real God? Are they the same? I know God has been good to me, he has shown me grace and mercy. But when it’s time to talk to God about the pain and the hurt, I have no memory of it. It’s tough to talk to the Real God about tough things. But I’m trying…
Today, I started to talk to the Real God. It was just a few simple words, not a lot of worship, verses or Bible, just me, trying to be unafraid but believing that this is good for me…We’ll see.
Have a great day.
Into the future,