Welcome back. You belong here.
I think the time is coming to travel the world and find myself again, to be inspired and put new sounds into my music, into my creativity and mind, hanging out with souls that have life, with people that are changing the world in simple ways and with new sounds and new spirits from my childhood and the world. To talk to God, to listen to God, to hear what I am in Him and who He is shaping me to be.
To not know what the heck to expect, this is not a planned “do something Lord” but just a natural part of life, a time of silence and rest, a time to listen, to listen, to feel, to feel, to learn, to learn, to be broken, to be broken, to confess, to confess, to jump for joy, to jump for joy.
And to allow Him to break me, go through temptations (as Jesus was tempted in the Mt. of Olives) to be in the wilderness, to feel my dryness first hand, to cry in His presence, to feel Him and hear from Him once again, to pause and allow Him the room and the space to deal with me.
There are phrases I need to get in touch with again from Nicaragua and my growing up years such as:
AGUACERO – a really strong tropical storm. “downpour”
I have many memories of these storms from back home, and I need to be in that spirit and environment once again.
I need a sabbatical to feel again, to listen to God once again, to shed deconstruct behaviors and grow, expand, keep moving forward. Something like 3 months in the summer. A family vacation slash sabbatical to think, write, feel, hear, pray.
I feel like the last few years have been great years, much productivity and renewing. But it’s also had clouds, depression, sadness and an overall “aguacero” in my life. I need to drink deeply from the well once again and take in the life all around me.
The trip may include:
– Nicaragua, my home (of course)
– Raymond Street (that’s here in Long Beach, where I grew up)
– San Francisco (family)
– Oregon (family)
Not sure why, but I think those place may provide guidance and refreshment.
I have never felt more focused and passionate for the Kingdom and my Jesus than now, but I feel the need to refocus and pause before the journey continues.
There’s something in my life, a timing, an age thing, a boundary, a change in my life, all good and natural things in a leader’s/artist’s life, a rhythm of sorts that tells me this is needed and right.
I don’t want to burn out, I don’t want to run on fumes or old systems. I want to keep growing, keep learning, keep afresh, focus on ancient truths that will never change and yet to keep them contextualized. Focus on the right objectives, goals and desires of God’s heart for my life, our marriage, our children, our extended family and who we are becoming to our friends and neighbors.
What have I been reading? What has influence my thinking?
I’ve been reading “Isolation – A Place of Transformation in the Life of a Leader”, reading about artists like John Mayer, Ricky Martin, Bono and their growth as musicians and artists and I find similarities in their process and their amazing success at doing the right things that inspire and move millions of souls and yet hold a child in need. From huge to small. That’s what I am called to be.
How do I do this?
I need money ($5k), time off work (2-3 months) and places that would host me. Not sure how that’s all going to happen and I hate not having my family with me, but if God wants it to happen it will happen.
Have a great day.
Into the future,